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— Unknown (via fuckyeahprettygirls) (via sleepingwideawake)
Cool.
So, I thought today was my regular SAT. Well, when I got home from work last night to print my admission ticket it said it was my French SAT today. I literally screamed because I had been preparing for the regular SAT. I decided I wasn’t ready to take French, so I rescheduled it. Only problem is that my rescheduled one doesn’t have the listening component. Grr. But yeah…my regular SAT is in December. I have no clue how I mixed them up.
Now to plan an outfit for the movie in the midst of the disgusting smell of sausage that fills my house.
A miniscule, scum-of-the-earth, meaningless, banal, worthless, infinitesimal speck of nothing.
— “I Know, I Know, I Know” by Tegan and Sara
I like weighing myself in the morning, then right as I get home. In the morning, it’s nice and low and you can congratulate yourself somewhat. Then when I get home, if it’s lower, I might smile, and section myself off in my bedroom so I won’t change it.
I’m back to solely restriction again…but I did not welcome this. And maybe I subconsciously chose it, but it’s not going to help me get my baby back ): I hate lying to him when I’m trying to both trust him again and get him to trust me. What a fucking cycle.
This week it’s already minus six. Okay, cool, but that’s nothing compared to what I’m actually feeling. It’s kind of like this: I feel deteriorated and weak on the inside; therefore my outside is slowly reflecting such. I’ve cried every night since Friday, except Tuesday. I just…I’m so sick of this. I want to hibernate for two months and shut off my emotions.
he screamed: I CAN’T STAY I CANT STAY
I whimpered : I can’t breathe ,I can’t breathe.
Ugh what a long fucking day. I am SO tired of being on my feet…I haven’t sat down in about seven hours. I’m fucking exhausted. And I still have to clean up the kitchen from the cheese puffs and this chocolate bark I made.
In addition, my stomach hurts like hell. I got some chocolate on my finger, and when I licked it off, seriously about two seconds after I swallowed it I got a really bad stomach ache. Plus, the smell of all this random ass food is making me sick. It’s just too many scents at once. So I guess I’m getting sick, because that doesn’t really happen a lot.
After I clean up, I am most definitely going straight to sleep. I don’t care what homework I have. I. Need. Sleep.
